Lessons From a Lifelong Learner

So many people are obsessed with self-improvement these days. Overall, I think that's a good thing. I'd be worried if it were the other way around. You certainly wouldn't want to live in a society that was obsessed with self-diminishment. I too am working to improve myself daily. That's why in my most exceptional moments, I like to define myself as a "lifelong learner." What does that look like? Well, when you have the attitude that your schooling didn't stop when you stopped going to school, then you are on a path to growing and improving your life every day. The fact is, most of the important lessons in life are not learned in school at all. You learn you most important lessons in the context of your family, your job, the athletic field, or while enjoying your favorite activities in life. You also learn in the midst of conflict, crisis, disappointment and failure.

Everyday is a classroom when you commit to being a "lifelong learner." There's always a lesson to learn, a test to pass, a new discovery, a grade you've earned, and a next level to which you graduate. As I reflect on this, I am challenged by the barriers and self-designed roadblocks that keep me from growing. There are three things that I think keep us from moving forward and taking the next steps in life. They are:

1.  Pride... Believe it or not, many people stay stuck where they are in life because they don't think they need to improve. When you think you know it all, that's pride. No one ever "arrives" at perfection in life. There is always room for improvement. So if you think you don't need a refresher course, think again. Life has a way of dragging you back to the same situations that you've failed to learn in the past (kind of like the movie "Groundhog Day") until you get it right!

2.  Doubt... Another big barrier to personal improvement is self-doubt. We doubt that we can do it. Whether it's losing weight, becoming a parent, or starting a new job, we often sabotage our efforts with fearful thoughts of inadequacy. When faced with setbacks, a cynic believes that action in response to their doubts is useless because nothing is ever going to change. That is an “I give up” attitude and it is not going to lead to solutions.

3.  Time... Very often, people want to change, they want to find solutions, but they're too busy to make it happen. And if anyone wants to take on a new challenge, there is always a time commitment that must be made. No one on earth has more time than anybody else. It's an equal-opportunity commodity that must be managed in order to be maximized. Something always needs to be sacrificed in order to make time for self-improving efforts.

There are other barriers to growth and improvement that my list may have sparked in your mind. Whatever it is, my encouragement is to search for ways through these barriers. It takes a change of mind, a mental toughness, and a steadfast devotion to achieving your goals that will get you to the next level of growth. Until then...

I gotta grow!

J.T. Bean

Email: jamestbean@gmail.com

Twitter: @58beans

YouTube Channel: JTBeanScenes

Positive People Prevail

It’s no surprise that optimism breeds success. Optimism is also known as a “glass half full” mentality. This mentality is understood best through the story of identical twin boys. One was always happy and upbeat. The other was constantly negative and complaining. The contrast between the boys was so pronounced that the parents decided to seek help from a psychologist to see how to best deal with this imbalance between them.

The counselor learned that they had a birthday in just a few weeks and suggested that the parents buy gifts that would counteract the tendencies in their personalities. So for the pessimist, the parents were instructed to purchase top-quality expensive gifts that most children only dream of getting. And to the optimist, the counselor suggested they buy him a huge pile of horse manure.

The parents thought this was an intriguing idea and certainly worth a try. When the boys’ birthday finally came, the twins were separated and given their special gifts in rooms across the hall from each other. 

In the first room, the negative boy right on cue began to complain. As he opened up his new laptop, he moaned: “I wonder how long it will be before this thing crashes.” And when he opened up his new iPod, and whined: "I don't like this color.” And of his remote control monster truck: “My friend Stevie got a bigger car than this.” 

Disappointed, but not surprised, the parents turned their attention to their happy little twin. Surely he must be raising a stink about his filthy heap of dung disguised as a birthday gift.

Tiptoeing across the hall the parents peeked in and saw their little optimist gleefully throwing the manure up in the air. They were amazed to find that he was smiling and laughing, almost singing: "You can't fool me! With this much manure, there's gotta be a pony under here!"

Although some people seem to be genetically predisposed to certain attitudes, the point is, life’s circumstances can always be twisted one way or the other. You can choose to look at life as empty of enjoyment or full of fun. Your attitude is ultimately a choice that you make. And which person (the optimist or pessimist) will be more likely to succeed? The answer is crystal clear. When life becomes difficult, the pessimist grumbles and gives up, while the optimist presses on and prevails!

J.T. Bean

Email: jamestbean@gmail.com  

Twitter: @58beans

YouTube Channel: JTBeanScenes

Everything You Hoped For

“The thrill of hope, a weary world rejoices.” 

This lyric comes from a well-known Christmas carol “O Holy Night”. The line in the song stood out to me recently at a Christmas church service. I’m intrigued by the idea of how “thrilling” the concept of HOPE is.

Hope is usually something that we need more than we realize. Without hope, life is desperate, depressing, and we feel alone. Like the song says, we feel “weary.” I don’t know what makes you weary. Life itself can be weary. We get busy. We lose sleep. We struggle to pay bills. Our families suffer. Troubled relationships arise. We bend over backwards to please others... Life has a way of handing us: Headaches, hassles, hardships and hurdles!

But HOPE... that’s what we need in order to endure the trials and troubles that inevitably happen in life. 

On a lighter note, hope is what allows Chicago Cubs fans, like myself, to continue rooting year after year for a team that has not won a World Series since 1908! That’s over 100 years of failure! But true-blue Cub fans hold out hope that one day soon (maybe this year) the Cubs will overcome their perennial futility and finally win a long-awaited Championship. So far, in my lifetime, every season ends in disappointment, but there’s always the off-season sentiment: “Wait ‘til next year!”

What makes following the Cubs worthwhile is when they’re winning. Hope begins to burn in a Cub fan’s heart when the team is within reach of the playoffs late in the season. It doesn’t happen often, but like the Christmas carol says, it is a “thrill” to be filled with that kind of hope. Each game is more and more exciting to watch. It’s during seasons of success that hope becomes thrilling to experience. In fact, it’s addictive. 

The fact is, we all NEED hope in order to carry on. Without it, our failures will paralyze, our defeats will be crushing, and our disappointments will demoralize. So what disappointments do you face year after year? I’d encourage you to stoke the fire of HOPE in your life. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. And the darkness of your disappointment is usually only a temporary circumstance. When you’re weary and in need of strength, seek out the source of your hope! You’ll find it if you’re willing to keep moving forward. I hope to see you at the end of your tunnel, “for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!” Until then...

I gotta grow!

J.T. Bean

Email: jamestbean@gmaill.com 

Twitter: @58beans
YouTube Channel: JTBeanScenes

I'm Not Sure I Can Do This

This post is all about... CONFIDENCE

I think one of the biggest obstacles in life for many people is that they lack confidence in their ability to accomplish certain tasks. Too often we listen to the voices that tell us, “you can’t do that”, “it’ll never work” or “don’t risk it.” Those voices come from naysayers in our lives. But sometimes the voice is our own. The naysayers are easy enough to deal with--you can just avoid them and not waste your time listening to their negativity. But when the voice is your own, that’s a different story. You can’t avoid that. Instead you have to focus on erasing those tapes in your mind that tell you words like “can’t,” “never” and “don’t”.

Confidence begins when you start replacing those tapes with questions like: “Why not?” “Who says so?” and “Yes I can.” And after that, you take baby steps toward accomplishing what you’re after. The biggest confidence crisis I faced in life was in the summer of 2008 after my wife and I filed for bankruptcy. I had allowed our debt to grow totally out of control. And shortly after that letdown, I lost my job. Now I had to do something new, and I had no idea what else was out there that I could do, or wanted to do.

When the opportunity to begin a part-time network marketing business came up, I was intrigued. As I began explore the possibilities I got excited about it. But still, I lacked confidence. I knew nothing about network marketing or the company I was promoting. But I quickly realized that to gain confidence, I had to submit myself to a couple of critical realities:

(#1) Gaining confidence in a new venture TAKES TIME. You cannot learn all you need to know overnight. You have to be patient and allow yourself time to develop the knowledge and skills that will help you to be successful. Experience comes through trial and error. And as you learn, you grow. And as you grow, you gain confidence in what you’re doing and the tapes in your head start playing a new tune!

(#2) Gaining confidence TAKES EFFORT. You have to force yourself to do things that are difficult and uncomfortable. It’s hard to succeed in life if you aren’t willing to work at it. Success doesn’t happen accidentally. It’s a result of purposeful, intentional energy and effort that you put forth in achieving your goal.

Confidence is the result of doing something consistently, tweaking your methods as you go, in order to produce a desired result. They say that “practice makes perfect”. I agree with that to a point. Nobody’s perfect. But practice does make you more CONFIDENT in what you’re doing. So my encouragement to you is to TAKE TIME and EFFORT to develop CONFIDENCE. What is it that you’re after in life? Listen to me: “You can do it!” 

If you need the confidence to believe in yourself and take a risk, change the tapes, listen to the voices that support and inspire you. Until next time...

I gotta grow!

J.T. Bean

Email: jamestbean@gmail.com
Twitter: @58beans

YouTube Channel: JTBeanScenes